Irresponsibly ruthless words fill this town but

Never more, will a painful voice flow by

[/color]



"Lost til' you're found, swim til' you drown,
Know that we all fall down.
Love til' you hate, strong til' you break,
Know that we all fall down.

God love your soul and your aching bones.
Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below.
Everyone's the same, our fingers to our toes,
We just can't get it right, but we're on the road.

If ever your world starts crashing down,
That's when you'll find me."[/center]

Those days we spent casually are bidding farewell to us

As we lose those irreplaceable days

[/color][/center]

------------------------------------

First and Last:
Ryuin Kuzure

Known as:
Kuzure-sensei, RuiN (online)

I have lived:
26, March 16

I am:
Male

My preference?:
Heterosexual

I work as:
Agent of Justice, Defender of the Weak School Doctor

I affiliate with:
...? He has the Potential, and "once possessed a Persona", but now...

The rain hides the sun, stealing away its light

I am troubled as I lost what I believed in

[/color][/center]

------------------------------------

Height:
5'9"

Weight:
135 lbs

Hair:
Aqua, wears it long in a ponytail usually that is usually kept slightly hidden.

Eyes:
Pale violet.

General Style:
Layers. Sweaters, trenchcoats, scarves, maybe there's another jacket under that trenchcoat even. Just... layers. Usually rather loose-fitting too. Even in the dead of summer, he's all bundled-the-heck-up. During the work hours he usually tones it down a little bit, but still keeps a scarf handy with his lab coat.

Extras:
Scarves.

I won’t forget those days that I spent with everyone precious to me

Never more, will I be alone even in the darkness

[/color][/center]

------------------------------------

Positives:

• Open-minded
  
• Polite/Charming
  
• Thoughtful
  
• Soft-spoken
  
• Protective/Fatherly
  
• Dependable
  
• Mature
  
• Can be clownish/Will try to lighten a heavy mood in proper circumstances
  

Negatives:

• Distant
  
• Bottles up emotions
  
• Lethargic
  
• Jaded
  
• A bit reclusive/avoidant
  
• Hard on self
  

Overall Personality:
Meeting Ryuin for the first time, you wouldn't think of the things he's been through. He was blessed with good common sense and a dose of maturity, even at a young age, but that didn't mean he never made any 'mistakes', least of all ones without lasting consequences.

While not precisely rude about it, he's become pretty adept at dodging people in his day-to-day life, quietly sticking to the shadows, napping in the nurses office, and generally staying away from too much noise. He prefers peace and quiet, and doesn't like to become too deeply involved with people or get drawn into social events, making him somewhat illusive.

Of course, it didn't help that during his first years working at Gekkoukan a large part of the female student body were suddenly flocking to the infirmary to get 'checked up' due to absurd reasons... Though he has no real aversion to women whatsoever, there is a certain vulnerability to them he bears, in more ways than one, that only furthers his desire to stay out of unwanted attentions.

This isn't to say at all that he dislikes people though, quite the contrary, while not always vocal about it, he cares greatly for the students and his co-workers, but he finds his life easier to manage when not caught up in other peoples. Moreso... he doesn't have to deal with his own fears and insecurities about being unable to help the people he truly comes to care for. Its a cowards tactic. Staying away so he doesn't get hurt.

Once you manage to find the illusive doctor, however, he's always up for pleasant conversation, he just prefers it not get too noisy, least of all in his office here it's supposed to be quiet for those who are ill. No, Ryuin is quite good at being sociable all-in-all, and really, once he's found some comradery, he's all the better for it. He's protective and caring towards almost anyone he meets, and if they get closer, all the more. At the same time, inwardly, he'll withdraw, despite being friendly and otherwise genuine in interactions. There are scars he doesn't want opened, and regrets and shames he doesn't want anyone to see.

He doesn't seem to have any real problem laughing freely and enjoying himself once the moods come around, and to say he acts as something of a father figure to almost any person he meets would definitely be spot-on. Having lost children, this can become bittersweet at times, but it's usually not until 'later' that he feels guilt and regret swell up to suffocate him.

Still, despite all of his inner torments, and some slightly jaded views on the world, he tries to still see some good, some glory, and it gets all the easier when he's helping others in that natural, paternal way of his.


Character Time Period:
Uhm, this one... actually... But, things are clearly a little different because... it already happened... That's not right. Ryuin comes from BND's time line, except, that was when he was younger. He was seventeen then, had obtained a Watch, learned in some vague yet unsure detail about some mysterious group called KAFIR, about the Dark Hour, Shadows, and his own Persona... But this Ryuin only remembers all of that faintly like a dream. He thought it was a dream, now it just seems like a prophecy of another time, place, and... him.

History:
Warning: Cruel things happen to small children in this history. The sort of things you hear about, horribly, on the news or in the paper. This is your advance warning if acknowledging these sorts of things happens ick you.

---

Let's start this story with 'Once upon a time...' because that's about how it feels. Normal high school kid, normal high school life, attending Gekkoukan, and then... something strange started to happen. It started with the Dark Hour, and then the strange watch... He tried to find answers, reading on a message board some vague clues about some group called 'KAFIR', and it wasn't long before he dared to venture into the strange tower that appeared at the school... Whether he was alone or not, he can't remember, all he knows is that it was then he used the watch to summon a gargantuan white dragon, his persona...

If there were more battles, if there was more he ever knew, he doesn't remember. It's all stuck in the haze of dreams now, a pale memory dimmed over the course of years. Because he never did those things at seventeen. Instead, he had gotten his long-time girlfriend. Chihiro, pregnant, and at eighteen they were getting married. His family was of moderate standing, so despite the small 'oops', things were kept conveniently quiet.

Their first son was Akira, and despite his youth, Ryuin was excited to be a father. He decided to pursue a career in the medical field -the chosen business of the Kuzure's- to be able to provide a comfortable life for his new family. While in college he also worked hard as an understudy to his father, somehow managing to pamper his wife and child with love and devotion.

At twenty, with another child on the way, however, his classes and workload were beginning to increase, and without his attentions, Chihiro began to feel a sense of failure and resentment. Her dreams, her life, were all taken by these breast-sucking, whining children. Time would make it better, she tried to tell herself... but it only got worse. The crying, the screaming, the stress. Ryuin's late nights and early mornings, pursuing his dreams full-heartedly... 'No that's wrong, he's doing it for us.'

No matter how much she argued with herself, the outcome was always rage. She would never have her life back. She would never be free to do as she wished. Her body would be ravaged, ruined by the stresses of motherhood, and by the time the little shits were 'out of the nest', Ryuin would probably have some hot nurse on the side, and she'd be at home, getting sloshed and hating the fates. She'd never be a model, or a painter... Never see far-away places without children nagging at her feet...

Half a year after their second child, Kimiko, was born, Chihiro killed both children, and then, whether she had planned it all along, or realized what she had done -whether regretfully or fearful of punishment- attempted to kill herself.

By the time he turned twenty-two, Ryuin buried his two infant children, and saw his wife (soon divorced) sent to a mental institute. For a few days, there was the blur, a human body walking through the noise, answering questions, consoled by family, filling out papers. His mind could't hope to grasp what had truly happened. His precious children drowned in the bathtub he'd cleaned them in, laughing at their giggles and innocent fascinations. Gone, his precious...

He held through the funeral services, even despite the enraged accusations of Chihiro's family that this was somehow all his fault. If he'd been more responsible, been more attentive, been... more...

When his sister came to find him the next day, worried by his sudden disappearance and lack of contact, she found his home demolished. Everything shattered and ruined, everything that was hers scorched or ripped... only the faces of the children were preserved. Their room left blessedly untouched... He had, in his fit, not thought he would stop his destruction for anything, but when he had entered that room emptiness flooded through the rage, and all he could do was leave.

He wandered aimlessly in that emptiness, swallowed by his own grief and guilt, by the helpless truth that he had been unable to do anything to prevent his children's deaths. Surely there had been something. Something he'd missed. Something he'd done wrong... Where his families voices offered comfort and consolations, he could hear her parents screaming condemnations.

Ending up in a wrong part of town he got mugged, which led to the police finding him, and his being taken into his families care. He effectively became mute, entirely withdrawn, imagining in his own head the sounds his children's beloved voices must have made in their last crying moments... He was haunted, plagued, tormented. Sleep came only after days upon days of a seemingly scarcely conscious state. Sleep quickly disturbed by nightmares, and then screaming his throat raw. His family tried to get him to eat, but he continually refused, receiving, by force, only the most minimal essentials. After a few weeks of this, they decided to check him into the hospital for better, extensive care.

It was here he met Dr. Sakura Mizuki, the woman in charge of overseeing his recovery. Of course, there was naturally some resentment for the psychiatrist at first - How could anyone hope to understand? How could anyone blame him for his actions. He deserved this. Deserved all of this pain and suffering. He deserved to die, and yet if he killed himself, that wouldn't be enough suffering.

When he finally -drugged, hooked to I.V.s and fed through tubes- told this to Dr. Mizuki, she offered him an alternative. Feed his body, take care of himself, and suffer everyday the full beauty of the world. Suffer until he died an old death in his warm bed, addled by the guilt. This would be the greatest offering of atonement he could give, for his chosen path now was no better than his idea of suicide.

The change started then, gradually. After a year, while still withdrawn and silent, there was a vast improvement. His family supported him fully, having brought him home for treatment, where Dr. Mizuki made regular visits. To him she was a strangely backwards woman, something vaguely fascinating to distract himself with, a puzzle. She regularly spoke in riddles and enigmas, but always with a smile and a lesson in mind, despite being little older than he himself.

And she took him out to plant flowers, slowly encouraged him back into the medical field, taught him slowly the small, gentle ways of remembering his beautiful children... and forgiving himself. All people were responsible for their own actions, and the deep guilt he would always bear was proof enough that he had nothing to be guilty for.

Sakura Mizuki had a truly beautiful way of looking at the world, and just in knowing her he thought he could start to see it too, little by little. She gave him the tiniest thread of hope, and over time, a thread of affection, and then love... All these things forming the rope he could use to climb out from his well of despair.

At twenty-four, despite the fact that his wounds had scarcely healed over, he wanted to believe in a miracle. That Sakura was some sign of salvation. When he fool-heartedly asked her to marry him, she shook her head and told him, "When you're no longer my patient, we'll see."

Despite this, she agreed to wear a matching ring, but even as Ryuin made progress, began looking for work, and made a conscious effort to start 'living' again, in the real, harsh world beyond his families estate, Sakura's contact became more sparse. When they saw each other, her affections were twice as strong, and yet somehow seemed forlorn. He wondered if she was worried he was, perhaps, 'healing wrong', that her presence was causing a dependency, and so he tried to show her otherwise. He got a job at Gekkoukan High School as the school doctor, began slowly hanging out with old friends...

But finally, she revealed, this wasn't her concern. She had a rare form of cancer, and they didn't think she'd see another year. She told him, however, she wasn't scared. That as long as he was still alive, she knew he'd continue to plant beautiful things in the world, keep seeing beautiful things.

Shocked, Ryuin shut himself off. It wasn't intentional, rather, his mind, body and heart couldn't receive it properly... With her usual way, though, Sakura refused to let him withdraw, told him, with a firm resolve, she refused to pile up on top of his regrets. He heard her. He didn't want her to become a regret, either.

They held a quick wedding, and to each other, did their best to celebrate every moment of the next three monthes she lived... It's doubtful even Sakura knew, as the doctors informed after her death, that she had been with child.

Ryuin refused to let these things destroy him. One could say what he did was simply bury his pain, but he wanted to be stronger, wanted to let Sakura's lessons live on in him, and keep some fragment of her alive by continuing. Presently, he's doing just that. Even if he still blames himself, regrets, and feels guilty, every day is progress, healing, and shouldering his burden in his own way, the way she taught him.

But... as if that dream had once happened, one innocent night he found himself awakened during a eerily familiar time... What was the dream? What was the nightmare? Now he finds himself having dreams of that white dragon, speaking to him, reminding him in vague riddles of what he somewhat recalls. It wasn't that he had ever forgotten that long-ago "dream", how could he have? So warped and bizarre...

Now, just like then, strange things had been occurring. A group called KAFIR, handing out watches... A tower appearing at the stroke of midnight with all the blood and coffins. Something messed everything up. He remembered from his dream. Something was still messed up. How did he end up in this same place, this same time, completely different, with a life nowhere near what it... should have been? Could have been?

Which was the truth and which was the lie? He doesn't know if he can do anything to help anymore, but now just as in that dream-that-was-no-mere-dream, he finds himself compelled to find answers.

I will find it, that precious thing that I lost

Never more, because I’m sure your voice will guide me

[/color][/center]

------------------------------------

Orientation:
Magic

Weapon of Choice:
Scalpels, needles, etc. and so forth. He uses them for both projectiles and close-range.

Battle Stats:
20/50

Arcana:
Judgment

Persona:
Typhon - The last child of Gaia, after the deaths of his brothers the Gigantes and the imprisonment of the Titans, he was urged by Gaia to seek revenge. Fathered by Tartarus, he is the most deadly monster in Greek mythology. He was known as the "Father of all Monsters", and was feared even by the mighty gods.

- This is the form of the Persona that Ryuin once summoned, however. It is also the form Typhon appears to take whenever speaking to Ryuin in his subconscious. Whether they are thus one-in-the-same is not clear.

Summoning:
Watch?

High Affinity:
Light, Fire, Dark

Low Affinity:
Electricity, Strike, Earth

Skills:
Agi, Mudo, Dia, Patra

I don’t know when but I really have forgotten

Those important words that I once believed in when I was young

[/color][/center]

------------------------------------

Family:
Has had two wives, the first one the mother of two of his children. She ended up killing them and then attempted suicide herself, and is now in a mental institute. His second wife, the light of his life after those bleak times, passed away suddenly due to cancer a few years after they married, along with their unborn child.

His parents live distantly, and his sister was appointed their fathers heir. Though he speaks with his sister on occassion, and is on good terms with his family, they are not always precisely close.

Acquaintances/Friends:
n/a

Rivals/Enemies:
n/a

Romantic Interest:
Not presently interested.

Other:
A pair of lovebirds, Nami and Nagi.

In the world I can’t wake up from I searched for them

I finally found them, they were deep in my heart all along

[/color][/center]

------------------------------------

Handle:
...the girl with all the characters...

Other characters:
..........

How'd you find us?:
I was pulled by the red string of fate~<3

Contact Info:
> w >

Notes:
...Ashamed. And gleeful. History made me a little sick though. D| Getting into character didn't help.

Face Claims:
Hoshizuki Koutarou from Starry Sky ~in Autumn~ // Typhon looks like Ragnarok from Final Fantasy XIII[/blockquote]

* Accepted!

Welcome Ryuin~! Here's hoping you'll find yourself in happier times~